What If I Said I Hated You?
by suicide-greeting
Summary: “What if I said I hated you? What if I said I never wanted to see you again, never speak to you, ever?”
1. One Shot

"What if I said I hated you?" said a voice to me.

I watched the girl in front of me. She had changed since she had run-away. The darkness

of her clothes blended with the darkness that engulfed our surroundings. Her eyes showed

closed and hard, stubborn to all. Her hair lay limply, lifeless on her tense shoulders. Her face

was a wall of defense and I couldn't bring myself to look at it long. Her glare frightened me.

How a beautiful creature could look so harsh is beyond me. I hate seeing my angel like this.

That's what she was, an angel, my angel. I couldn't give her up, not yet, and not to the

darkness. She continued, piercing me, inches from my face I could feel her cool breath brush my

face, but this time it's unpleasant. Yes, I said this time, as in it happened before.

"What if I said I never wanted to see you again, never speak to you, ever?"

I just stared at her trying to comprehend her words, if she meant them or not. How can her

voice be so harsh? Is this adream? Because I want to wake up, now...I don't want to see her

like this.

"Well? What if I died? Would you even care?"

I was speechless. How could she say such a thing? After all we've been through? She held the

cards in front of my face, but they were black. How could they be black? Wait...they get their

energy from her...then she must be serious...she must really hate me. I felt tears bridging. I'm not

a wimp but how could she do this? I love her. I thought that when she came back she would be

back to normal. That she would be happy. This isn't how it's supposed to be. No. we were

supposed to be happy.

"Li, we never knew each other, did we? Look at these cards. Remember the Hope card? Hope

is bull shit. There is no love in this world...or at least not for me. I hate this place. I hate my

family. I hate my friends. I hate my mission. I hate YOU!"

Her words burn into me, stabbing at my heart. She wouldn't even use my first name.

"Sakura, you're wrong. I love you."

I was about to break down. I can't believe this is happening. I felt a sting on my cheek. She just

slapped me. The person, who would never hurt a fly, just slapped me. I guess she has changed.

"You never answered my question Li. What if I said I hated you?"

I collapsed on my knees, looking at the ground and the blackness that surrounded me.

"I would die, Sakura. I would die."

But she was gone. She was gone, probably forever. She would never come back. The silence is

swallowing me. My mind turned her words over in my head. All that is left here is my bleeding

heart, laying there on the floor, stomped on, and not earning any mercy.

a/n did u like it? i normally dont write a/n's im 2 lazy either that or i have nothing 2 say...okay i know that everyone askes but can u review? even if it suxed? why? why review? cos its nice


	2. See Just One More Human Before I Go All ...

(a/n out of the pity for those of you who were devastated by the first chappie)

A girl with a rose adorning her hand stood out in the rain. She was starting anew, or already was new, she never knew

anymore. She had driven her soul off the edge of a cliff with no safety net underneath. How could this have happened? The

cards burned a hole through her pocket. She hated them but couldn't let them go. They had been her demise. She was

burned and battered and when she had arisen from the ashes, with a new mind she saw a man who was not a man but a boy.

Her old memories accounted a man who was strong and defining. This boy was not. He was not the hero he had once

claimed to be to her.

She had a vision of Kero bound in chains that squeezed on him too tight embedded in her mind. The cards did not save him

this time. Had everyone betrayed them?

She undid her outfit to look at her back. The word that was burned into her flesh burned her eyes but she stared at it

anyway. 'Hunter' sprawled gracefully there in a brow cinder but it held a deadliness that haunted her dreams and reminded

her of things best forgotten. Her hatred for Li was real but it was something that had 'this' not happened would not be there

and something that her former school-girl self could never imagine. She was sick of the neighborhood she grew up in. long

ago she had moved to the nastiest part of Japan, somewhere know one would look. Somewhere she got hit on everyday and

stalked home; it's funny that she was still alive at all. But she had to defend herself she didn't want anymore nightmares, ones

that she got raped by a guy with no life and anyway she needed to say goodbye to…Li.

(a/n if i make another chappie who POV do you want? sakura or li?)


	3. Some People Die More Than Once

((a/n should this turn into sci-fi or stay teen drama, i have an idea for both and i cant decide. i might end up, if no one comments writing both story and putting them in seperate things but im not sure i wanna, so reply!))

Li ran his hand down the cold brick, stopping halfway down and pressed his hand against it, creating indentations in his hand. he looked sadly at his scenary. Flowers that hadn't been watered, shrubs long due for a cut, grass a little too long and a doorbell that hadn't been rung in years. But. But he knew this was the place where a little girl grew up...and he knew she wasn't here but he couldn't help coming back. For some reason he had to, to know that 'girl' he rembered wasn't another fantasy.

The door creaked open and a tired face emerged. "what do you want ,twirp?" he said it without insult really. Li knew he didn't have the energy for that these days.

Li sighed. "nothing, just passing by," he said as he turned to go. his footsteps fell on a neglected pathway and his feet took him farther away from that place.

He shoved his hands into his pockets. And he knew Touya was still watching him.


	4. What You Push Away Is Pulled Back Again

Sakura, or the girl who had been named as such bent down, setting the dishes onto the table she was serving. Her red kimono went dangerously low and the man didn't hide that he was looking. She pulled up quickly, suddenly feeling very dirty. Her hand went up to her collar, pressing it tightly against her chest and her arm covered her breasts as best she could. He grinned a crooked smile at her and she smiled her polite 'waitress' smile back at him before walking back to the main desk.

She walked briskly, uneasily from table to table. Her voice disguising her weakness, her fear. This place feed on her fear, caused it. The moment she went near it or even saw it she got overwhelmingly afraid. She wasn't sure why.

Because she was so afraid of this place, she forced herself to work there.

She noticed a boy ,hardly a man sitting in a booth watching her. He was leaning back casually and all he had in front of him was a coffee. His hair was bright, an orange type color and hung limply on him, almost touching his shoulders. His blue eyes peicered and followed her.

At 9:00 her shift ended. She took off her cash apron and grabbed her bag, exiting through the back way. A hand grabbed her arm and she whirled around. This situation all to familiar although normally no one approached her.

And as expected it was him. The man...wait no, boy from the restraunt. His face looked surpisingly urgent and worried but his voice was deep and even.

"you don't belong here. You don't fit in at that restraunt, you stick out. Most of those waitresses double as prostitues. After they serve them their tea they take them to bed. You're not like that," his hand tightened on her arm without him realizing it.

Sakura glared at him, some boy coming up to her, acting as though he _knew_ her, _worried_ about her. What bullshit.

"What do you know? I could very well be off to someone elses apartment right now. And don't tell me where i belong. How would you know? You don't know me."

The boy's eyes turned sad and narrowed. "because i had a sister. She didn't look like you but she acted like you and you may be a stranger but i don't want what happened to her happen to you."

"what...happened to her?" she asked suddenly timidly.

"she's dead." he said shortly before letting go of her arm, slightly pushing her away and he walked blodly into the shadows, mystery following him. He was just another person she was bound to met and never see again.

And for once she was afraid of death again. She normally wasn't and hadn't been for awhile but the way he said it shook her. As if...as if..it wasn't only death but the worst possible kind.


	5. No Romance Novel

Li walked, not sure where to. Tomoyo had called his cell phone but he wasn't planning on calling her back. He wished that this was like one of those romance novels, where the lovesick boy found the girl he had been searching for on pure accident, that she may just happen to be on the same bus or just happen to walk right by him. He was smarter than that though and knew that wasn't how things went. The most probable outcome was him growing old, still dreaming, still looking for her.

He had been told once that him and Sakura were meant for each other and he still believed that but what if Sakura didn't exist anymore? What if he was searching for something that was gone? What if the woman he found wasn't the woman he was searching for? And if he did find Sakura (and it was _his_ Sakura) what would he say?

He shoulder collided with someone else. He saw the orange haired boy, about his age pass him, apologizing as he went.

"No, it's okay," Li said softly. "Everything's my fault anyway."

But his mind wasn't on the boy.

((a/n another uneventful chapter, not quite pleased with it but, eh. Its what came out of my fingers))


End file.
